how am i suppose to breathe without u again?

"Men like older women because "Elder women are more wise and experienced in their relationships with men.Agree?"
a quotation from his' facebook :( ...
i believe there's a time n reason for everythg...that Jesus will also help put/arrange for us...
i guess the time has come...almost near...
i will rmb all tat i promise...to keep all our memories n let him go...when he wants to...
i can feel my heart beating fast...i wonder "how am i suppose to breathe after it finally happened?" 
i rmb n will never forget...how hard breathing is thking tat he's not by myside anymore...wondering how is he doing...is he eating well?...is he having any headache/fever/stomach upset?...is he happy? 
i know i shouldnt be greedy...
soon most probably im gonna hv to move on n lead my own life again...
no matter how hard it is gonna be...i know i'll hv Jesus right by my side...


:) forgot to update a happy memory...
he msg me 1evening while he was shopping "i brought somethg for u" 
:') here wif me now is issey miyake...
"dear issey miyake...i love you so much...ur smell n everythg abt u...coz not only u r issey miyake...but u r from him...
now u're gonna stay wif me...remind me of our happy moments even when he's gone...u're gonna accompany me okay? 
i hope i can carry ur elegant smell...n i hope u lk me too!..."

living to love you

15th of february...i counted it as where we started again...

i stopped counting d days...so tat i wont think of it so much, as i dun wan it to end...

its now d 10th of april...almost 2months...

before this we were together for 1 1/2 month...:') we've passed through tat period!! 

its really a "yay" & a "wow" for me...with tears of joy & gratefulness from my heart...tq Jesus! 

i remember telling Jesus, .....

"Jesus, please...i just wish i had more memories with him...i wish i can take care of him....i wish he will remember me forever" 

Jesus made my impossible dream came true...

he came back when i was dumped cruelly! he came back!! 

so its true you know "there is no mountain too big, tat God kenot handle" 

he's now wif me...

its unbelievable...but its true! 

is his heart wif me? i dont know...

and it doesn't matter...coz all i want is to be by his side...

to know tat he's well... to know when he's not well...

to hv d right to love n care for him!! 

Jesus "just one more day...one more day"  is my everyday prayer

n here i found myself being more n more greedy! 

how much i misses him when i don't see him! 

i wonder if i can keep my promise to move on happily when he leaves me...

i wonder will i be able to breathe den...

i wonder if i will hate him to move on again...

i promise... i will smile thinking of all d memories of us together...given to me by Jesus

i promise to not hate persona, to not cry watching movies in d cinema n realizing he's not d 1 beside me...

i promise to live life with Jesus...n only pray for his happiness...

i promise to be independent...in a world where he will not see or hear from me...

each n everyday i say "im ready" n also said "but Jesus, can i have one more day" 

i just love this guy so much!! i don't know why...

but Jesus...i love you so much!! tq for everything...with all my heart!

i took leave today....i want to see him!! tomorrow he'll start working already...

i know...he might not be mine soon...

as i took "i couldn't get out of bed" as an excuse...its impossible to hang out in sunway pyramid...

so tropicana city mall was in my mind..

n there...he msg "we'll go to tropicana mall" :) 

i wore a dress today :) which i never will wear when we go out...coz i couldn't wear heels 

(my legs...the muscle ache was quite bad after d jungle trekking) btw,i had a wonderful day rafting n trekking)

n i hope i can at least wear a dress once for him to see..

i wish i can go to 'look out point' with him looking beautiful...

so i mentioned tat place...tat i heard was going to close, hoping tat he will wanna go there tonite

after d movie, though he wanted to go back n prepare for work tmr...

i thk he knew...

it wasnt really d time tat i wished cz he spent most of his time fb-ing on iphone...

i wonder does all ths "coincidence" or reading of d mind without any words go to do wif us

i wish we were meant to be...

i know there'll be lots of ups n downs in d middle...with me being a super low self confidence person...

i just wish i be there with him when he's old...

where he needs some1 to take care of him...i just wish its me...

it doesn't matter...i just wish tat he's well all d time...

den i will be happy! i promise!! 

my dear Jesus...i leave everything to You...tq for everthing, i love You!!