bye bye

Mariah Carey - Bye Bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On sunday mornings and "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I i miss you but I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [3x])
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus]

(Bye bye[3x])
Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

[Chorus]

* "yvonne,u're so soft o! here, got ppl bully u or not hah?"
mdm Siah...tq 4everythg...never was there any patient who cares whether there's ppl who bullies me or not... :(
i'm really so sorry...i left just lk tat...now i won't get the chance to say gd bye n tq 2 u anymore...
mdm...see me stand up each time i fall k? i will...
u'll remind me if i didn't rite? i miss u so much...
mdm siah, mdm wong, mr lee, mdm chong n oso my dearest grandpa...God bless u
all n ur love ones... :)

little angels, may God bless you

today...i went home visiting at "house of joy", in puchong.

it's been a long time, i dun feel tat keen to children anymore! we were told tat we're going to visit d old folks n some children of d home. before i went, my mind was jz focusing on d old folks (i love old citizens) tat i'll b visiting n d presentation tat we're suppose to perform there.

to me, its jz work...as ths project cost 10marks, although all ths while i've always wanted to visit homes n do charities...but...i jz don't know y i dun feel anythg.

i never knew this day...wud be 1 of the memory tat i hope i'll never ever forget.

reaching there...i saw a big crowd of children of all ages (it turns out,d elderly couldn't make it 2d hse)...all warmly welcoming us with smiles, calling each n every1 of us "jie jie, jie jie". everythg was quite a mess, as we hv to change our presentation language from eng to mandarin (which is already a bad news to me as I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF MANDARIN n only 4out of 15 of my members can speak mandarin!!). as time flies...we realize most of d children could no longer give us their full attention. so, i told my group to give up after presenting to 3groups out of 5groups as d 4th group jz won't sit down n listen (wat a gd leader i am!! :P) feeling so fedup wif '''children'''!!!

"arghh, im jz terribly not good wif children! i jz dun lk children anymore! dun ask y, coz i don't know y!"

waiting for all d groups to finish presenting, some of us jz hang around wif d kids. at tat time, i met ths little gal. she wanted d door gift tat we're suppose to give out b4 v go home. but since everythg was a big mess n how i couldn't refuse ths little gal's request, i gave out d door gifts n there we were sitting wif d children chit chatting :) Questions were "How old r u jie jie?" so they started guessing our age. ths little girl, was smilling quietly, so i asked her, "wat abt u? i'll gv u ABCD n u choose k?"

n suddenly...she fly to my lap n said "i know how to sing ABCD" n she sang! :) so sweet rite? we den talk abit of nonsense, n sang about d doll keychain on d doorgift. :P i teach her n she sang after me! :) den i watch her eat...listen her repeating our presentation...watch her wash her hands...n suddenly its time to go home!! :( alrite, i was already feeling abit touched at tat time, but it was jz a bit!

she den stands up from my lap...n gave me a big hug n kiss me on my cheek! T.T

:( only God knows how i felt at tat time...

i wanted to gv her sumthg...but all i hv with me was jz a few sweets. :(

i gave her 2 (1for her n 1for her bro) but her bro din want it so i ask her to keep both. her fren suddenly fly to her n tell her "u're not suppose to eat any sweets coz u're having cough" they show faces of :P for awhile n after d gal left, another gal came n said, "i oso want!!" but to my surprise i din hv to dig out any sweets, coz she jz gv her 1 of her sweet when i ask her to share her sweet wif d jie jie...n den she turn to me n said "jie jie, u keep for me 1st. after i dun hv cough anymore, den only u give me k?"

T.T how weak i felt at tat time. "How? how could i come bek here to see her again? how? no matter how much i want to...how my dear? how?"

suddenly...a little boy...a very cheerful boy :) fly to us...n we took photos...we bid farewell a few times...bla bla bla...den T.T i heard her say "this jie jie is mine...u go 2her lar (pointing at another fren of mine), she's mine!!" n there they goes "she's mine! she's mine!" T.T u know, i really wish i can gv myself to u too...but how can i?

b4 i really leave d home, again she gave me so many so many hugs n kisses T.T

i really wish i could brg her home or at least gv her a promise tat i'll see her again? but i can't! :( i din wanna leave, but i had to... T.T what an ending!

Oh God, who am i to deserve better den these kids?
i finally see n und...tat everythg mine is not mine...but Yours!
my heart, my knowledge, my life, my hands, my feet...my everythg...so let me gv it back to U...let me do Ur will.
i know now y, mother Mary cries. i know now y, Your eyes r so sad.
pls...give a chance to love this little children.
gv me a chance to take care of them for U.
gv me a chance to protect them for U.
gv me a chance to guide them in their life.
gv me a chance to buy them fried chicken or watever they love to eat.
gv me a chance to go out n offer out wat i have, to all who don't.
or at least gv me a chance to fulfill my promise to them...
n to see them (her) again...
I PROMISE I WILL FIND MY WAY!!

failure is a success in disguise

today...i really feel very fresh...feel lk...im finally awake!
im now in d oncology ward. d ward tat i really hope to be posted to after i graduate. ermm...many would really prefer not to be in ths ward...coz its really not easy for others to see ppl suffering.
today...a patient's husband ask us..."y did we choose to become a nurse" my answer was jz "coz i wanna take care of d sick". "aiyo...tat 1 is jz a very basic reason larr"...hahaha...feel so paiseh :P
true enuf...i was really naive to choose to become a nurse jz bcoz i wanna take care of d sick. ths sem its really kinda stressful...coz being a more senior student...ppl tend to expect alot more from us. n v ourselves or its me who really expect alot from myself. coz i know im gonna be a staff nurse soon. n when i fail...i will feel very down..."argh!!! im such a failure!!!"
God sent 2 angels to me today...they told me "its ok to fail! a person's success is not measured by how many times she made it...but how many times she stand up from her failures!" wow...all ths while its not tat i have never heard of ths...but ths time...i finally und d true meaning behind ths sentence.
i hope i will rmb it for d rest of my life...each n everytime i fail...i will stand up. n in d future...i hope i will still be happy each time i fail...learn from my mistake n get up...n smile proudly instead of sighs after sighs. n to those who simply scolds ppl...or who are rude...i hope tat i will learn patience. "getting scolded is good...if u dun get scolded it'll be worst...coz u won't learn anythg. by getting scolded u will learn." so...even by being treated unfairly...i hope i will learn PATIENCE in return!"
tq so much angels...it really feels lk u're sent to tell me ths msg. i hope u'll win ths battle n stay strong n happy...
* you will weep n mourn while d world rejoices; you will be sorrowful, BUT your grief will be turned into joy (Jn 16:20)
may God bless you always...
tq...for helping me to und wat i dun und n see thgs tat i can't see!
know tat...i'll always always always rmb wat u told me!

smile smile smile

haiz...i knew it...yesterday there were so many labours...
today, we jz pukul lalat!! T.T no labours in d morning!! haiz....

:) but today...i met a really nice patient, who gave me a really nice compliment - "i like to see u...u gave me a very happy feeling with ur smile"...its a compliment tat i've been waiting unconciously lo! actually i din notice it myself, till today..."aikss...isn't wat she said almost d same as d dialog in d drama?" (huhuhu...so touching lar) i feel lk..."i did it! i did wat i wanted to do! i made it Lord! i know its not me...but You working through me!"
:) God bless u...n ur baby! (hope u'll have a smooth labour) "u really made ths day...a special day"

yea...taking care of d sick, making their day a better day, n supporting them was wat i wanted 2do...n y i choose nursing! haiz...i was so innocent rite? T.T how i wish im still tat innocent! :( surely sad/anger/stress will hv no space in my life!
but...everythg seems "worth it" now...at least for now! hopefully...when trouble/stress comes again...ths will heal all d hurts!

God bless u...every1...gdnite :)

with a new blog...hopefully its a new beautiful beginning

:) today...is really an awesome day to start ths new blog...
have had so much fun today...being in a delivery unit...i really wish i could share wat i've seen n experience...but most of all...i really wish...i will never forget ths wonderful feeling!
today...i've been posted to the labour ward...
what is it that i've seen?
1. of course...a new life coming into d world (whoa...u really feel so happy as if u're d mummy/daddy...till ur tears can jz burst out!!)
2. d joy of being a mother...after all d pain...once d baby came out...everythg seems to be worth it
3. d joy of being a father...(its so nice, so sweet to c them smilling all d way)
4. d hope of a new beginning n with a new family member in a family....d waiting...wow...it really seems lk a torture! its scary! :)
5. i'll never miss out d horror of d tear/artificial tear to deliver d baby...n also how it is stiched after delivery...(whoa...tat's really scary!! coz i can't imagine me being in tat position) 1st of all i really would die to go to a female gyneacologist! huhuhu...coz really paiseh lar... "huhuhu...thanks but no thanks...i dun wanna get married")

i actually watch only 2 deliveries today...
d 1st baby...a baby boy...he din cry much...most of d time he was jz looking ard...as if asking "where am i now? wow! i've come into d world! hey...whose tat man there? is tat my daddy? ohh...ths is surely my mummy...thx for bringing me into ths world...n so sorry for d pain u hv to go through jz now...i promise i'll be a gd boy k?" :p) he jz stop crying...when put into d mother's arms! ahhh...wat a nice feeling!
d 2nd delivery...ohh...i forgot 2 see d gender of d baby :( but ths baby looks very big...oh yea...its a japanese baby! i wonder is he/she consider a malaysian? hee...its so nice to see d daddy smilling secretly all d way u know? n when d baby came out...i can c he almost cried (aww...so sweet rite?) n d mummy...she's really a nice lady...even in pain...she can still smile! it gives me d feeling tat japanese ppl r very polite n sweet! (huhuhu...i wish i can visit japan now!!! :P) hymm...actually, i thk all daddies should be given a lecture on how to support d wife when she's delivering lar...hehe...i feel a bit dissapointed...coz i expected d mummy to hold d daddy's hand lk in d tv ma! :P but i believe kenot blame d daddy oso lar...coz poor thg...sure he's very nervous + scared + excited...till he don't even know wat he shud do! :) rite daddies?
congragulations all...n may God bless ur babies...
>.< gd nite