when i was young...

once upon a time...
when i was young...how simple life was...
it was always a happy day...
u just gotta wake up...excited...
it's all smiles with no worries...it's always a happy day!

but yet...
i long to grew up fast!
i long to be an adult...
where im gonna be free,
im gonna work, earn my own money...
im gonna have my own family, my husband, a baby...
it's all im gonna...& i can't wait.

i have dreams...lots of dreams...
i want to grow up...& go out there to serve people...
i want to join charities, to be with d poor...
i want to go to old folks home & orphanages...
i even dream of building an old folks home together with an orphanage...
where d old folks...full of wisdom of life may lead these little poor orphans...
i tell my God..."here i am... i want to serve!"

well...now that i've grown up...
im 24 but look like 15... :S
but still im 24 with an immature mind & heart...
life everyday is like a slap on the face...
it's no longer "here i am Lord" but the selfish me of "why me Lord"

what went wrong?
why have i become bad & selfish?
where did all my dreams go?
it's still there...but procrastination...
& "I don't know how!!"

my dear Jesus,
i hope You see how lost i am...
travelling in this world alone...
i wish You'll send someone to guide me...
hugging & embracing solitary & loneliness...
i wish i can do it...
as long as You promise that i can hear You...
help me to do what You want me to do...
tell me HOW!!!
teach me...